Something you may not know about me; I am built like a 13 year old boy that holds great promise for his high school wrestling team. I am of average height, maybe a little on the tall side, fairly average build, close to flat chested and, as I am discovering, I pack on muscle. Who knew?
I am still running and recently decided that perhaps I should throw some basic ab work and free weight work into the mix. Don't be impressed, we are talking about a few sit ups and some random curls with my 8 lb weight (yeah, 8lbs, I'm a total hoss, right?). I would like to be able to tell you I have become a workout junkie but that is not the case. I still rationalize my way out of working out as much as I possibly can. Things like "Oh it's raining" or "I just worked out yesterday" or "Well, I'll run tomorrow" or "I have to be at (fill in the blank) in 2 hours so that really isn't enough time for me to get a good pre-run meal, let it digest, work out, shower and be at (fill in the blank) on time" are still rolling around my inner monologue a lot. I am trying to fix that but right now I am averaging I would say 2 good work-outs a week.
From just that little bit I am not losing weight and developing a dainty toned figure, oh no, I am starting to pack on muscle. Which would be totally cool if I dug female bodybuilding. I would be stoked, like, oh, here's the thing I am good at, the thing I am supposed to be doing with my life. But no, I don't even like my guys that ripped. During my several years of not working out I was kinda hoping my quads from 6 years of cheer leading would atrophy a little, they didn't, and now they are coming back all big and angry. Like getting the hulk mad, or feeding Gizmo after midnight and getting a Gremlin. Man, I would love to shank the guy that decided there was not enough money to be made in wide leg jeans and that skinnies were the way to go this decade.
I have basically come to terms with the fact that holding to my resolve to get fit and overcome my aversion and insecurity surrounding physical activity will lead to me looking like a damn gymnast by the end of the year. But a gymnst without all the cool coordination and the ability to do flips. I'll be a gymnast that walks into doorways and trips over her own feet.
Until that day I will just keep working out and coming back feeling a little more and a little more like that once scene from Benjamin Button only not as bony, and in a sports bra.