Let's get it out of the way now.
Boy, Tiger Woods can sure put one in the whole.
What do golf fans and millions of ladies have in common? They all want to take a swing at Tiger's balls.
Wow! Tiger mates with cougar. National geographic? No. People Magazine.
Oh and some reference to his name, cause seriously, first name Tiger last name Woods. Come on.
Now that we have a few sophomoric puns out of the way, can we talk about Friday?
My husband had Friday off so we slept in. On days like this we have this little routine. He gets out of bed and turns on CNN while he grabs breakfast and then he turns on Modern Warfare 2. I stay in bed because I have discovered sometimes if I stay in bed long enough he will bring breakfast to me. This past Friday was a little different.
While sitting zombie-like with my hair sticking up like a had shoved my finger in a light socket and a little drool falling out of my mouth trying to fight my way to consciousness I overheard the TV talking about Tiger Woods. How could this be? Nick is not an ESPN sort of guy. And even if he were, neither of us have any use for golf. It is about as entertaining as watching grass grow or paint dry.
I climb out of bed and shuffle the 10 feet into our living room, note that the TV is tuned into CNN and promptly ask: "What the hell is this?" Much to dismay Nick explains that Tiger is on every news network at the moment. What the, what?
I sunk into the couch long enough to realize no one had died, Tiger hadn't inadvertently discovered a cure for AIDS while eating take-out with a classy lady in a classy hotel room, nothing of news relevance had happened at all. Tiger was simply making some scripted "sorry I got my hand caught in the cookie jar" public apology. Now I ask you, why did this monopolize time on our news networks? Do we not still have troops all over the Middle East? Aren't the Olympics still happening? Was there not a tragic Luge death that should be reported and discussed? Do we not still have tenuous relationships with other players on the global stage?
I understand that public apologies are, well, public. But I am fairly certain things were not always THIS publicized. I mean if they were then I am pretty sure the Dallas Cowboys would have just launched their own network during the 90's so all their players could apologize for their various arrests and social faux pas.
Is this where we are going? Will Anderson Cooper soon be announcing the arrival of Angelina Jolie's new addition to her ethnic kaleidoscope of children? Will Wolf Blitzer be hosting a new "Stars are just like us" segment on The Situation Room? In that case, I politely decline. I will exclusively sift for my news online and dedicate myself to watching my locals.
On another note, who was Tiger apologizing to? I didn't see anyone in power suits holding big microphones chomping at the bit to ask follow up questions. All I saw were a bunch of pissy looking 40 something women with no obvious press passes. Who were these ladies? Mistress moms perhaps? Maybe Elin's lawyers. I'll go with that.