Tuesday, March 9, 2010

If I had only known about Cirque du Soleil when I was 5, I could have been a wealthy gal by now.

I have started taking a Yoga class on Sunday evening and I love it.  I even have a small girl crush on my instructor.  Really, I am just terribly envious of her.  She is super petite, but not in the obnoxious go eat a burger sort of way.  She is just very graceful and nymph like; and while I have had many adjectives thrown my way, "graceful" has never been one of them.  She also has the mass of super curly hair (as a kid I always wanted curly hair).  And we are talking like the semi-crazy, natural curls.  Think Sigourney Weaver, back lit and levitating in the movie Ghostbusters.  Best of all, and I think this is why I like the class so much, she seems like a real person.  She doesn't come across as too zened out to go grab some damn coffee.

It is a Yin Yoga class so the practice is all about releasing tension and opening up connective tissue etc. etc. which is great cause it is a nice balance from all the running I do (or more likely find excuses not to do) during the week.  AND (here's the best part) this is like the only physical activity I am naturally inclined to excel at.  I have always been flexible.  Had I been born in a different era my parents may have made a good profit off selling me to some greasy man with a handle bar mustache running a circus on Coney Island.  Sadly, while being able to throw my both feet behind my head may have made me the talk of my 4th grade class for like 15 minutes, as a grown ass women I feel that it might be slightly inappropriate to throw that talent out in order to make friends and impress people.

That being said, a few times I have, perhaps, over done it in class.  For example, a couple weeks ago we worked our way into a modified pigeon.  Pigeon looks like this:

In this modified pose the left leg, for example, is extended behind while your torso leans forward and is supported by your forearms.  The right foot then is parallel and just outside of the right forearm.  And in my case the instructor comes around and makes note that I am really flexible in my hips so I should just let my right leg fall open to the floor.  So then, my right shin is now perpendicular and outside my right forearm.  I am sure this is hard to just imagine so go ahead and step away from your computer and give it a try.  It's cool.  I'll wait.....

Yeah, it's a little hard but it feels kinda good, right?  Ok, well I stayed like that, with some minor adjustments and twitches for about 3 minutes straight.  You know, cause "I'm a total badass" and "going easy is for whooses."  Then our instructor, in her uber calm spa voice, lets us know we should make our way into the next pose and for a brief moment I am stuck.  Seriously stuck.  Muscles all stretched out like a sweater left on a hanger to dry, in a position that doesn't provide any leverage or ability to gain momentum to roll out of the pose.  I start imagining the pain I might experience the next day.  I start to panic and have images of the class trying to move me but my body is totally frozen like Hans Solo in carbonite.  At this point my nerves kick in and send out just enough adrenaline that I am actually able to move.  It was the longest two seconds I have experienced in a while.  Serves me right for showing off, especially in a class where people keep their eyes closed.


  1. I tried it...can't comment now...must see chiropractor...

  2. I am not flexible at all. My mother and I took a yoga class... she fell asleep every time. And well, all that forced contorting made me fart. Totally serious. And you think being stuck for a couple seconds is embarrassing!

  3. Hi, I've been reading for awhile, but the other comment I made mysteriously disappeared as they sometimes do... I think I must be doing something wrong. Anyway, totally agree with your comments on the yoga, I'm a runner as well & love the combo.

  4. I'm dying to know what lyrics you use...come on share with me. It will tell me more about you.

    Yoga has been on my bucket list for years.

  5. Ha, this was funny. Particularly the being sold to Connie Island guy. The part about the crazy yoga position? That's insane, I'm sore thinking about it. I'm glad when I'm flexible enough to touch my toes.

  6. I'm a runner and I find yoga useful .
    Yeah ! What lyrics do you use?
    Bettyy xx

    P.S. Thanks so much for your lovely comments on my blog.

  7. That was pretty funny! Roll back to my page hit the contact button and I'll be more than happy to answer your Droid ?'s :)

  8. Hee hee! Loved it!

    I can totally relate...well to the yoga class enjoyment part~not the flexibility.

    Glad you made it out alive. ;-)

  9. It's weird, I've always been incredibly flexible. I remember in the 7th grade they did these stupid flex tests in gym class. I was like second in my grade, and that's counting against girls. Course that never translated into anything as I'm also extraordinarily lazy. lol

    Very funny post.

  10. See? I thought no, I don't think I want to try that without an instructor or anybody present, and then I read on and learned that you got stuck. Score one for my self preservation instincts!

    I actually am naturally flexible too, though, and have always wanted to try yoga. My mother used to do it. It does look like it feels good!

  11. Everyone in my office is going exercise crazy, my sister is loving hot yoga and even my awkward boyfriend was like "Uhh I think it's time I took a yoga class."

    I'm pretty sure yoga class attending is unavoidable at this point! The good news is that according to my sister (who is super inflexible) that it gets WAY better after the first week and you get way more flexible. Let's hope so!

  12. I have been doing yoga for years. I did it before kids and it helps with the push push poof. I don't go to classes anymore I live in a town where the level of real is low and the last place I want to be is with fake people seeking real ism.
    I am not below throwing my legs back to make friends.

  13. LOL. Too cute.


  14. Hehe, this post made me laugh a little to myself. You do have a witty way of writing things!

    Yoga is one of the things I am going to take up this year, I'll get onto it in a fortnight when I'm less busy :D

  15. Oh dude ow. I'm in pain from just reading that post. Glad you got unstuck!

  16. And this is why I've never tried yoga!

    I'm your newest follower - I just found you over at "I Read Your Blogs".

    PS - I have that type of curly hair. Believe me, it's no picnic!


  17. Did you see we got blogged about???lol



  18. great job doing pigeon!!!! :) that is awesome you do yoga, so cooool! I teach a class here in the city once a week and I try and take a photo of a pose to show a how to do a yoga pose on my blog and guess what one I took a pic of last night!? pigeon!!! so cool, we are like in sync lol:) today is frugal friday though so i will definetly post monday:) you should totally get yoga certified and become an instructor and then you can have your own girl crushes lol:)