I have started taking a Yoga class on Sunday evening and I love it. I even have a small girl crush on my instructor. Really, I am just terribly envious of her. She is super petite, but not in the obnoxious go eat a burger sort of way. She is just very graceful and nymph like; and while I have had many adjectives thrown my way, "graceful" has never been one of them. She also has the mass of super curly hair (as a kid I always wanted curly hair). And we are talking like the semi-crazy, natural curls. Think Sigourney Weaver, back lit and levitating in the movie Ghostbusters. Best of all, and I think this is why I like the class so much, she seems like a real person. She doesn't come across as too zened out to go grab some damn coffee.
It is a Yin Yoga class so the practice is all about releasing tension and opening up connective tissue etc. etc. which is great cause it is a nice balance from all the running I do (or more likely find excuses not to do) during the week. AND (here's the best part) this is like the only physical activity I am naturally inclined to excel at. I have always been flexible. Had I been born in a different era my parents may have made a good profit off selling me to some greasy man with a handle bar mustache running a circus on Coney Island. Sadly, while being able to throw my both feet behind my head may have made me the talk of my 4th grade class for like 15 minutes, as a grown ass women I feel that it might be slightly inappropriate to throw that talent out in order to make friends and impress people.
That being said, a few times I have, perhaps, over done it in class. For example, a couple weeks ago we worked our way into a modified pigeon. Pigeon looks like this:
In this modified pose the left leg, for example, is extended behind while your torso leans forward and is supported by your forearms. The right foot then is parallel and just outside of the right forearm. And in my case the instructor comes around and makes note that I am really flexible in my hips so I should just let my right leg fall open to the floor. So then, my right shin is now perpendicular and outside my right forearm. I am sure this is hard to just imagine so go ahead and step away from your computer and give it a try. It's cool. I'll wait.....
Yeah, it's a little hard but it feels kinda good, right? Ok, well I stayed like that, with some minor adjustments and twitches for about 3 minutes straight. You know, cause "I'm a total badass" and "going easy is for whooses." Then our instructor, in her uber calm spa voice, lets us know we should make our way into the next pose and for a brief moment I am stuck. Seriously stuck. Muscles all stretched out like a sweater left on a hanger to dry, in a position that doesn't provide any leverage or ability to gain momentum to roll out of the pose. I start imagining the pain I might experience the next day. I start to panic and have images of the class trying to move me but my body is totally frozen like Hans Solo in carbonite. At this point my nerves kick in and send out just enough adrenaline that I am actually able to move. It was the longest two seconds I have experienced in a while. Serves me right for showing off, especially in a class where people keep their eyes closed.