Sunday, August 1, 2010

Crime Report

I had planned to pretty much never write about my job, but this was too good to pass up. 

Now, it should be noted that I really like my job.  It is flexible, low key and frequently challenging in one way or another.  One thing it is not, though, is exciting and ripe with great stories the way it was working in retail.  So when I stumbled across this little gem last week it pretty much made my day.

Last week my boss had asked me to poke around on our server at work and search out a document that he needed and had trouble finding.  Now the server is frequently cleaned out with the exception of a few folders, our tech writing folder being one of those.  So I am running all sorts of searches in one window and in another window I am absent mindedly sifting through the titles of documents when I come across a document titled "Crime Report" which has been stashed away on the server since like 1999....this is obviously not what I am looking for but my interest is piqued nonetheless.  I open it up to find a short anecdote written by, what I can only imagine, is a former employee.

I quickly minimize the window and glance around making sure that no one is lurking in the aisle behind me. Instantly became thankful that my cube mate was out that day. I then pulled the window back up and began reading as quickly as I could.

"Crime Report" is a simply story.  It is a narration of an employee (the author) who is clearly disgruntled, going out to eat Chinese food and then upon return finding the project manager's car parked illegally and then somehow running into the car!  The rest of the "story" is diatribe on how worthless and out of touch the author thinks said project manager is.  And the best part?  Names were named, kids!  There is a byline for the story, the project manager is called out by name, and then it was saved on the networked work server.  Seriously?  Has anyone else ever stumbled across something like this at work?  I couldn't even believe it.  How dumb can you be?

Needless to say I did what anyone would do. I very quietly closed the document and kept it on the server.  It is always good to know that it is there in case I have a bad day and need a laugh.


  1. I love LOVE this. I've actually found two similar things: first was a list one of my coworkers made (she still works there) of times and dates of when my boss said rude things to her. Second was a conversation between the girl who used to have my job and my boss, and it's a completely inappropriate IM conversation where he's basically telling her something completely inappropriate about her relationship with her husband. Both are, to this day, exactly where I found them on the work server.

  2. When I left a job, I purposely left scathing but accurate notes in an unlocked file cabinet on the person who took over for me. That is not nearly as exciting as your crime report, though. I'm glad you have some good reading material whenever you get bored or discouraged at work.
    Cheers, and thanks for visiting. We haven't connected in a while. Sorry for that. :-)

  3. It's amazing what you will find. When I worked in an office, I had come across a document on the Public folder of the company server. It was a former employees resume...I guess they were working on it while at lol. It was interesting to read...especially their hobbies (those are the best on resumes).

  4. Wow that is scandelous! I've never found anything like that on our server but I think it would be interesting to! That is pretty cool that you have names also, so you can put together the pieces!