Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I know I won't, I know I won't, I know I won't.......

My husband Nick finally broke down and joined the gym that our good friends go to.  It is a CrossFit gym, and for those of you who may be unfamiliar with that particular line of gyms you will generally get two responses from people who go or know someone that goes.  1.  "Oh my gosh, it is so awesome.  Just incredible, you wanna go?" or 2.  "Oh my gosh, that shit is crazy."  And on occasion you find someone who will combine both of those responses into one like, "It is totally awesome.  I almost die every week." 

The gyms, from what I gather, are designed around minimal equipment, a good deal of personal training and developing a social culture and a healthy competition between the people that work out there.  Which is awesome, totally up Nick's alley.  The second workout he attended caused him stumble out of the car once he parked outside our place and promptly vomit.  I called him from work later that afternoon and he was an odd blend of super pumped (that he worked so hard) but also really embarrassed (that he puked in our parking lot in broad daylight).

So now that he has joined I have had to dodge another round of "So when you joining the gym?"  Which I just can't make myself do.  I could barely get up the guts to use the YMCA membership we had a few years ago and work out in front of the overworked moms and senior citizens.  Can you imagine me trying to saunter in and count out loud the number of squats, push ups, dead lifts, or whatever I manager to do in the allotted amount of time?  Hardly.  I once looked Nick dead in the eye and said, "Nick if I ever went I would stop half way through and run out crying."  He laughed, cause he knew I was right. 

But that is really only half of it.  As I have gotten older I have realized that I kind of have an issue with authority.  Not across the board, just in particular circumstances.  For example, if you are paying my salary, hand me an assignment and say have this done by next week and then leave me the hell alone,  we are fine.  In fact you might become my favorite boss ever.  However, if you in any way shape or form make things personal, as in you presume to know and understand exactly what I am capable or incapable of doing, I don't handle that well.  It doesn't even matter if you are yelling at me or cheering me on, the second I hear "You can...." and the sentence doesn't end with permission to get a piece of cake, then I start putting forth less effort on purpose.  It is like my basic mode of operation is, "Oh you think know I can do what?  I'll show you what I can do, I can stop" and then, in the most passive way possible, regain control and authority over any situation. 

Moral of the story.  Any sort of boot camp would be the end of me.  I would get pissed and just to be spiteful go home, eat everything in my freezer, and not leave my couch for 3 weeks.  Basically, I would turn into a Cathy cartoon and no one wants that.


  1. Zomg! Why do people pay to be tortured?!

    What if you went but moved in "slow motion" or like on a moon landing? Or did everything in reverse?

    Could be fun, no?

  2. I have a hard time with that kind of authority, too. Yes, we can often put a mental block on ourselves, thinking we can't do something, and a little encouragement can help. But for the most part, I know what I can and can't handle and don't you dare tell me otherwise.

    I'd be curious to see how I would do at a CrossFit gym. I'm guessing not so well. :-)

    Thanks for stopping by my blog! I'm following you on Twitter now.

  3. I've done (tried) that kind of workout a few times, and it was utterly exhausting. I prefer being my own authority and sauntering on the treadmill or jogging at a snail's pace. I hear you!

  4. Okay, you had me laughing at your attitude towards authority, but the Cathy comment really got me... love it! I like the sound of that gym as far as minimal equipment, social culture and lots of PTing, but the attitude that a workout is a waste of time unless you vomit in the end (or end up a cripple for days) doesn't really fit with me. I'd be playing the opt out card as well.

  5. Dear god no! Not a Cathy cartoon!

  6. I joined the gym once. That lasted....maybe three months. (About 2.5 months longer than I thought it would). Ick.

  7. I'm like that with authority to a degree. I joined a gym last year but luckily it's one of those nice ones where no one bothers you.

  8. I feel you!
    Did u know the Cathy cartoon is no mas! The author is going to quit while she is ahead!

  9. I am so not an authority person either! I remember in 5th grade I wore a shirt that said "Ignore Authority", I really didn't mean to be directing it towards the teachers, lol but they didn't take it that way! :)

    I go to the gym and I just never get a personal trainer and I do my own thing. I usually run alittle one day, and the next day do the elliptical and then switch working on arms or abs.

  10. I bet it's very effective and easier if somebody is pushing you...