Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The past few weeks have somehow felt like a primetime office sitcom, only not as funny, and more me pulling out my hair.

Here I am, kids!  Alive and well.  I apologize for my sudden, unexplained hiatus.  The past few weeks have been wacky to say the least so I want to try fill you in a little before I try and resume a regular posting schedule.

Let's start on April 8.  That is the day my husband and I decided to impulse buy a condo.  I really wish there were a way to say that without making us sound like we have more money than sense (which, believe me, we don't) or like we are just total idiots.  But when push comes to shove, by definition, I guess it is an impulse buy.  The way Nick and I have adapted to the military lifestyle of moving with the frequency nomads and orders changing at the midnight hour has been to simply fly by the seat of your pants and always keep an eye out for opportunity.  Then, be ready to make the plunge cause you never know when you will get a second chance.  So when we found out that we could by a really nice and super affordable townhome, essentially across the street, have the builder's pay our lease break and foot the bill for a large portion of closing, in a town that has a large transitional population that would lend itself well to keeping property as a rental once we move, and at a time in our life when our family unit plus possessions is small enough to fit in a space that is both small enough AND big enough to be super desirable to future renters.  Well, you see how it would have been hard to say no to such a proposition.  So there has been lots of phone calls, emails, and paperwork with that.

Skip to April 11 (mind you, 3 days after the decision to purchase the townhome) we get a random letter in the mail from a collection agency saying we owe about $1000 in back taxes for property tax on our car from the state of Connecticut for 2007 and 2008.  Which is odd because we lived in CT for 3 months in 2006.....hmmmmm.  I did a little google search and found out that this particular collection agency is known for being rather harassing too......super.  I won't bore you all with tax law info from the state of CT, but I will tell you we were right and they were wrong (HA! Triumph!).  But nevertheless, that meant ANOTHER round of panicked phone calls and emails to our lawyer friend, an official visit to the legal office on the airforce base and ANOTHER dubious pile of paperwork.  (If anything can be said about me, it is that I am organized and diligent to the extreme when recording things.)

The following week my husband and I got the worst stomach flu I have had in YEARS.  Like I lost 7lbs in 4 days sort of sick.  Like I bunched up the rug on our bathroom floor and used it as a pillow while I covered up with a random dirty beach towel cause it was the closest thing sort of sick.

Then the following Tuesday I started my new job.  Which, by the way, is kinda freaking awesome.  But has also been a giant black hole for time even before I started working.  I am working as a technical writer for a big company you have probably never heard of that has their hands busy in a gazillion different things.  But the department I work in primarily deals with software development.  As such they are, like, break your kneecaps serious about nondisclosure....hence my super vague description.  And yes, I might be making the kneecap thing up.  It would really just be serious jail time and/or a heavy fine.  Either way, consequences serious enough to warrant 5 hours of background check paperwork and THAT is no exaggeration.  (What I say about eating up time?)

So, my friends, if you have been wondering where I was, fear not.  I had not forgotten about you.  I was merely in room somewhere with a pen and piece of paper filling out my last name, first name, middle initial, current address, current phone, social security number, addresses for the past 7 years (FYI - legally I have had 9), so on and so on and so on.......    

Monday, April 12, 2010

Twilight: A tale of love and ridicule

Ok, I can just hear some of you totally losing respect for me on the spot but hear me out. 

I am one of the millions that have gotten sucked into the Twilight book series.  I am not proud.  I am not going to try and argue the literary merit of books, cause let's face it, 50 years from now the Meyer estate will be lucky if the social phenomenon (much less the books themselves) are noted in history.

What I will say is Stephanie Meyer wrote some serious literary candy, made me read 4 somewhat lengthy books in record time, and probably tricked some little tweens out there into reading Romeo and Juliet and/or Wuthering Heights.  So good for her.  But this is only tangential to where I want to go with this post.  

 This is my husband's Kindle.  You know, the one he took with him on the sub when it was going out for sea trials.  

I can tell you that he hasn't read Moby Dick, that download was just a decoy.  The decoy didn't work.  He was still given an endless amount of shit by all the other members of the crew.

This is why I married the guy.  He never fails to surprise or amuse me.  

I started reading the books back in March of '09.  I remember the month I started reading them (and plowed through them faster than I thought I would)because it was right before Nick relocated from Seattle to San Diego.  I wasn't able to make the same move until three months later, so yes, I was looking for a little escapist literature.  And if you didn't know, Nick and I were high school sweethearts (pause for obligatory "awwww"...I know, it's cute, whatever).  So both of us have a soft spot for high school themed crap.  On top of that I am on a constant mission to try and get Nick to read, cause the guy just doesn't and it makes me sad.  So, after I finished the first installment I was all like, "Nick, I can't tell if you would love this or hate it so just read the first chapter."  This was the last we discussed Twilight....Until a couple weeks later, after he left with the boat.  Then, I started getting emails from him while he was underway, talking about the characters in the book as if he were 15 and they were kids in his class.   So crazy!

Now it's become like this bizarre bonding activity for us.  He'll make some reference to the books out of the blue (most likely just to get chuckle out of me).  And I will look at him sideways and all squinty-eyed and say, "Really?  That is really where your mind goes when you hear this Killers song?"  And in return I didn't have to drag him kicking and screaming to the midnight showing of New Moon.  (Oh, yeah, we are also avid people watchers and there is no better place to people watch than a midnight showing of some super hyped premier.)  We ordered tickets at the giant screen theater in Charleston, got a six-pack of beer at the concession stand, and sat back to watch all the people crazier than we were.  Great fun.

One of my more favorite moments happened last month when we went down to Target to procure our copy of New Moon....don't judge.....they are great movies to pop on while multi-tasking like a champ, plus we have developed drinking games around them (if you like I will post the rules later).  Target had conveniently placed several copies of the movie at the register.  Standing next to the display in line was some poor schmuck of a guy, clearly picking up a copy for his wife, girlfriend, niece, neighbor he wants to hook up with, or what have you.  Nick spots this guy and remembers that I am with him, so he has a scapegoat.  He shoots me a knowing look and quite firmly says, "Well go grab it, I'm not going to."  I roll my eyes and move the three feet over to the display and right as I start to stretch my arm out to grab the movie I hear another harsh, panicked whisper behind me, "Make sure to get the blu-ray!"  Which didn't help his cause as I immediately doubled over laughing at that comment.  Man, I adore that guy.